It's A Love Story Baby Just Say Yes: Part 2

Surviving The Distance

If you missed part 1 of our love story, you can find it HERE.

Chris graduated from Winthrop in May of 2007.

I was just getting started with my degree.

In the Fall of 2007 I was starting my sophomore year.

Chris was still working at the restaurant he had been working at before he graduated, but was steady looking for other work.

During this time, I was very unhappy at school.

I didn't like what I was studying.

A degree in fitness/wellness.

I started asking myself, "What in the world am I ever going to do with a degree in fitness?"

"I could be a personal trainer."

"But I could do that without a degree."

I also wasn't getting along with my roommate.

I loved having Chris' house to go to as an escape to get away from it all.

College was the first time I had ever been away from home.

It was nice to have an actual house to go to and spend time at when school got overwhelming.

During that semester, Chris hit me with the news that he had been offered a job in Hilton Head, and that he wanted to take it.

Six hours away from where I went to school.

I was devastated.

There went my escape from school.

There went my best friend.

There went the last thing holding me at Winthrop.

When I came home for Christmas break, I told my parents that I didn't want to go back to school.

I begged them not to make me go.

Without Chris there, I didn't really have anything to be there for.

I hated my major.

I fought all the time with my roommate.

I was miserable.

It was really hard on my parents, but they let me make my own decision.

In January 2008, I came back home to live in Charleston with my parents,

and Chris started his new job in Hilton Head.

The distance was rough.

Chris worked during the day, when I was off of work.

I worked at night when Chris was off of work.

It was hard to communicate.

Chris worked a lot of weekends, as did I, and it was hard to find time to visit each other.

We fought, a lot.

All the time.

There were times when one of us or both of us wanted to give up.

Chris was struggling making enough money to live in Hilton Head, so he ended up moving back to Rock Hill within a year of leaving.

This move still put us at the same distance as if he was in Hilton Head.

When we visited each other,

everything would be great.

But then we'd go back home and fall into our same rut.

Arguing.

Fighting.

About every little thing you could possible imagine.

I told you in Part 1 that 3 months into our relationship, Chris had told me that he wanted to marry me.

When April of 2009 came and I still didn't have a ring

(almost 3 years later),

I decided I needed to find a way to take care of myself.

So I joined the Army.

I figured it was time to stop waiting on an engagement that might never happen,

and it was time to do something for myself.

This was a defining moment for our relationship.

As much distance as we had already survived,

this was the ultimate test.

I don't really have a lot of pictures of us from this time because we literally spent so little time together.

So I'll leave you with this one :)

This was taken on a weekend visit when we went down to the aquarium for the day.

Stay tuned for Part 3!

It's A Love Story Baby Just Say Yes: Part 1

So awhile ago I was writing a 50 things post, and I asked y'all what are some things y'all wanted to know about me.

And I got an overwhelming response for people wanting to know about Chris and me!
I thought it was perfect timing since Chris and I just celebrated 5 years together!
We haven't been married for 5 years we've just been together for 5 years :)

Chris and I first met in September of 2006 at Winthrop University.
It was really by chance!
Chris had stayed a semester longer at college, and I had decided to go to Winthrop at the last minute!
I had made some new friends my first month at school, and one Wednesday evening we walked across campus to meet some friends of theirs to hang out at their house for a little while.

And that was the first time I saw him.
My friends and I were all sitting on the front porch of the house visiting, and he was on the other side of the porch reading the newspaper.
He didn't really say a lot, and the whole time I was with my friends I couldn't help staring!
He was sooo cute!! :)

So that evening came and went without so much as a word spoken between us except that we were introduced to each other.
He was introduced to me as "Garrison" which was a nickname that was given to him by his friends since there were so many Chris's around.

The next evening my friends and I went to a get together at a friend's house.
I didn't realize it then, but Chris was there too.
My friends left me alone for a minute to go to the bathroom, and that's when Chris came up to me.
We ended up talking the whole night!
(Later I would find out how shy Chris really is, and how out of character it was for him to make the first move and approach me making it even more by chance!)

That night no numbers were exchanged or anything, so I figured it was a pretty slim chance that we'd bump into each other anymore.
Not to mention that I was going home for the weekend.
Campus really cleared out over the weekends, so if we were going to bump into each other, that would have been our best bet.
Not to mention I thought that he'd probably forget all about the little ol' Freshman that he'd met on Thursday by the time the weekend was over ;)

So I went home that weekend.
The weekend came and went, and of course, I didn't hear from him.
I got back to campus Sunday night, and when I was unpacking my things I got a phone call from a friend of mine. I didn't know it, but he also knew Chris.
He had been hanging out with Chris that night, and they got to talking and my friend realized that Chris was talking about me.
As it turns out, Chris had been trying unsuccessfully to get my information all weekend!
My friend gave Chris the phone, and we exchanged our numbers and Facebook information so we would know how to get in contact with each other.

After that night, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't talk to or see Chris.
We started seeing each other, but we decided that we would just see how it went.
We didn't want to label ourselves as together too quickly since we didn't really know each other.
We gave each other the freedom to see other people if we wanted to, but neither one of us did :)

After about 3 weeks of seeing each other, lots of late night phone calls, dinner and movie dates, and spending time together, we finally made it official :)

This is the first picture we ever took together!
We weren't even dating yet here :)

After we had been dating for a few months, Chris asked me to go with him to his fraternity's formal.

Of course, as a Freshman, this was a HUGE deal to go to formal with my super cute Senior boyfriend ;)

It was the first big thing that I had gone with to him, and I was a little nervous to be introduced to all of his friends! I just felt so young being right out of high school.

Although I thought it was definitely a good sign that he was proud enough of me to take me to a big event and show me off :)

Our relationship got serious faster than most I would say.

We had only been dating a couple of months before he told me that he knew that I was the person he was going to marry.

In fact, he even told my parents!

Not sure how they felt about that at the time :)

Here are some pictures from the beginning of our relationship!

Side note:

How about how I'd forgotten that I was at one time skinny!

What happened?!

And how can I go back??!!

Anyway...

That's the story of our happy beginnings!

Be on the lookout for part 2 where I'll talk about when our relationship became long distance, and the struggles that came with it!

What do you want to know?

Hey y'all!

t feels so good to write a blog post!

I had Army duties Thursday, Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday.

That means waking up at 4:00 a.m.

And working 12 hour days.

And getting behind on my school work.

AAAAHHHHH!

It will feel good on Friday to be off because at that point it will have been 2 weeks since I've had a break!

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Anyway, I'm working on a "things about me" post and want your input!

What are some things you want to know about me?

What are some questions you have about me that you want answered?

I Have A Secret

I have a secret.

It's very personal.
It's not something that I'm proud of.
It's not something that I talk openly about.
My secret is not something I have control over.
It's something I've struggled with for most of my life,
but didn't know about until much later.
I could probably count the people who really know about my secret on one hand.

And today I've decided to share my secret with you.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder.
Although I was just diagnosed a year ago, it's something I can look back and see I've struggled with since as early as middle school.
But as I got older, it got much worse.

I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw.
I always wished that I could be like someone else.
I didn't want to go anywhere.
I didn't want to do anything.
I didn't want to be around anyone.
There were days where all I wanted to do was to lie in bed.
I had panic attacks just thinking about the people I loved the most dying.

All of this over nothing.
Nothing bad had happened.
Everything in my life was going great.
I had no apparent reason for feeling this way.

Have you ever seen this commercial where the little depression blob is following this woman around and randomly turns into a hole she falls into?

That is what it was like.

I remember sitting in my doctor's office a year ago and bursting into tears when he walked into the room.

I've been on prescribed medication for a year now, and it worked great for me.
Don't get me wrong, it was no "cure all."
I still had depression and anxiety.
But I had lots of days where I was happy.

But now, for different medical reasons, I'm having to come off my medication.
And I'm scared.
Even at a lower dose I can already feel it.
It feels like a ton of bricks weighing heavily on my chest.

My depression and anxiety has lead to a condition called
dermatillomania.
Dermatillomania (also known as compulsive skin picking or CSP) is an impulse control disorder and form of self-injury by the repeated urge to pick at one's own skin, often to the extent that damage is caused.

Yep, that's right.
I pick my skin apart.


I know y'all are all asking yourselves the same question,
"Why do you put yourself through that?"


I wish I had an answer. All I know is that I can't stop.
It's brought on by stress, depression, and anxiety.
Sometimes, after what seems like minutes, I look at the clock and an hour has passed by.
And I look at what I've done to my skin.
And I feel guilty.
And ashamed.
And I want to stop.
And I do it again later.

Why did I decide to share my secret with you today?
Because I wanted you to know
I'm real.
I have bad days too.
There are lots of days where my life isn't all
butterflies and rainbows.


And I wanted to challenge myself.
A challenge to be honest with myself.
A challenge to change.
A challenge to stop.
A challenge to be the best me that I can be
with or without medication.


Now that you know,
can we still be friends?

Currently

Happy Sunday y'all!

I've seen this done on a couple of blogs and thought I would play along!

Currently

Current book(s):

I just finished reading Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen last night! For anyone who has not read it I highly recommend it!

But since then, I have moved on in my summer reading list and am currently reading Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. So far so good!



Current Playlist:

My Pandora account is set to Miranda Lambert radio :)

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Current Color:

Current favorite color: pink

Current favorite color to wear: turquoise

Current color on my toes: Cajun Shrimp by OPI

Current Drink:

Because of Weight Watchers, Diet Coke :(

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Current Food:

I'm not eating right now, but I had spaghetti squash for dinner.

Current Favorite Show:

Army Wives! I cannot wait to find out what happens in tonight's episode!

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Current Wishlist:

To finish the degree requirements to get my Bachelor's of Science in Biology.

Current Needs:

A vacation complete with a Pina Colada in a coconut!!!

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Current Triumphs:

Getting above a 3.0 GPA for last semester! I worked really, really hard for it!

Current Bane(s) of my Existence:

This filthy, junky house.

Current Celebrity Crush:

Definitely Leonardo Dicaprio! Can you blame me?!

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Current Blessing:

That my husband got a new job not too long ago and is loving it! So proud of him :)

Current Indulgence:

Going with my husband to our favorite Mexican restaurant once a week!

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Current Outfit:

A t-shirt and shorts. I went running earlier!

Current Excitement:

My husband and I are going to go to Carowinds today! It is an amusement park about 20 minutes from where we live, and we're going to break in the season passes today :) I need to remember to take lots of pictures!

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Current Mood:

Happy!! :)

If you decide to do a currently post, leave a comment letting me know so I can check your post out!

I hope everyone has a great Sunday!